Becoming a mother is a moment that arrives all at once - and then keeps unfolding in ways no one can fully prepare you for. From the intensity of birth to the quiet, disorienting beauty of the first weeks at home, new motherhood is a season of profound change. In this interview, Tonya Jones-Smith of The MopTop shares her honest experience of the transition into motherhood: her birth story, the early days of learning her baby, and the importance of giving herself grace along the way. We talk about family, expectations, and what those first weeks really felt like behind closed doors. It’s a gentle, real conversation about surrender, love, and finding your footing in a brand-new chapter.

How did you feel when you first found out you were going to be a mother? 

So many different emotions. I was over the moon because we had been trying for over a year. I was also shocked and took about 6 pregnancy tests just to make sure! 

What surprised you most about the transition into motherhood?

I’m surprised how much it’s already changed me. Being a mother is such a selfless act and I never realized how much I could truly love someone. 

What’s one thing you wish someone had told you before you became a mom?

To not be so hard on myself and to give yourself some grace. It’s such a huge transition and you constantly worry if you’re doing it right.

How did each trimester feel emotionally and physically for you?

My pregnancy went really good overall! The second trimester was the best! We got to see her on the ultrasound for the first time, we go to find out what we were having, and I had a lot of energy for nesting at home. The third trimester was definitely tiring and I was ready for her to arrive at that point!

Did you have any pregnancy rituals, cravings, or routines?

Strawberries were my first craving! And then a lot of sweets! I also tried to make sure I was walking as much as possible to still stay somewhat active. I ended up getting a walking pad for my house so I could get some steps in.

What helped you stay grounded and calm during your pregnancy?

I would listen to positive affirmation videos a lot. “Hypnobirthing with Anja” on YouTube was my go to and helped me through many anxious thoughts. I’d listen to them while I was napping too.

Are you comfortable sharing the highlight moments from your birth experience?

Ya! I feel so grateful that my labor and delivery went so well. I had to get induced so I was a little worried and anxious about that. There are so many horror stories online about inductions so it was not what I was hoping would be how I would go into labor. But it ended up going great. We went to the hospital on a Wednesday night around 11pm and our daughter was born the next day at around 3pm.

How did you prepare for labour and delivery mentally and physically?

I mentioned this a bit before, but the positive affirmation videos really helped me prepare mentally. I also watched some breathing technique videos and practiced that beforehand as well. Knowing how to breathe through contractions was a lifesaver.

What advice would you give someone approaching their due date?

 That it’s ok to be scared and anxious but that it probably isn’t going to be as bad as you think! I was so nervous but everything ended up going really well and holding my daughter for the first time truly made everything worth it, just like they always say.

What was the first week at home with your new baby like?

Honestly, it felt like a dream. I was on cloud nine that she was finally here, in our home, like we had been dreaming of for the past 9 months. But also a lot of work! We were adjusting to our new normal and figuring things out and running on very little sleep! Lol

Were there any moments that felt unexpectedly joyful or challenging?

One of the things that felt so joyful was the closeness I felt with my partner. He was very supportive of me and how I felt postpartum. It was a beautiful thing to watch him become a dad too. 

How did you begin to establish your new family rhythm?

Communication! That’s been one of the most important things, communicating with my husband so that we’re on the same page. And also knowing that some days are going to be easier than others and that’s ok! I think as the days went on, it was easier to know what to expect and finally got the swing of things somewhat. 

What was your postpartum recovery experience like?

Postpartum was one of the things that I wish I would have prepared myself for a bit more. It definitely can feel like an afterthought while you’re pregnant because you’re thinking of so many other things but it’s so important. My recovery wasn’t too bad but it was definitely a bit different than what I had expected.

How did you navigate changes in your body, sleep, and emotions?

It definitely was a huge adjustment. Some days were really tough and some days were a beautiful blur. I think being able to talk to someone about how I was feeling, whether it was my husband or my mom, was important and helped me a lot.

What support systems were most helpful during that time?

Leaning on my partner/my husband was very helpful. He was so encouraging and reassuring during that time which is really what I needed. 

What family rituals have become especially meaningful to you?

I think we’re still figuring out what those are for our family! But I’m really looking forward to seeing what those end up being for us.

Are there cultural or generational traditions you’re passing down?

My mom is planning on moving closer to us soon so I’m excited to have her be a part of my daughters life just like my grandma was in mine. We live out of state from most of our family but all of her grandparents have been so excited about her arrival and are doing their part to be in her life. It will be fun to see what family traditions come through the years!

How do you create moments of connection in your household?

Being present in the moment has been important. Putting my phone down and just soaking up the newborn phase as much as possible. It really does go by so fast and I want to try to remember as much as I can.

How would you describe your parenting style/philosophy?

I think I’m still learning! And maybe that’s going to be my philosophy. That I’m always learning and just doing the best that I can. 

What values are most important for you to instill in your child?

That’s a good question and honestly something I haven’t thought enough about. I hope my daughter believes in herself. My dad was always so great about encouraging me and lifting me up. He made me believe in myself and it really made a huge difference in my life so I hope to do the same for my daughter.

How do you balance structure with spontaneity in family life?

It’s still a bit too early to be certain, our daughter is just shy of two months old, so we will have to figure that out along the way!

How has motherhood changed you?

It has basically flipped my entire world upside down in the best way. I feel so much stronger and empowered. But it has also made me more gentle and work on my patience. I really think it’s transforming me to be a better version of myself.

What has been the most pleasant surprise about becoming a mother?

Being able to understand other mothers more. I feel like I can relate to other women that are mother’s on a different level than I did before I became a mom. It’s such a tough job but truly such a  rewarding one. 

What has been a funny and unexpected mothering moment with your little one

My absolute favorite thing is seeing her smile! It was the most incredible, precious thing to see for the first time and it never gets old.

What new strengths have you discovered in yourself?

The main thing I can think of is patience. Taking care of a newborn is a lot of work and oftentimes I get a bit overwhelmed and overstimulated but it’s really made me learn to slow down and be patient with myself and her. I’ve always been one to just constantly be go, go go, and doing things around the house but having a baby has really made me live more in the moment and realize other things (like cleaning the house) can be done later.

How has your perspective on life or success shifted since becoming a mom?

She’s my entire world now. Her safety and health is my number one priority so that’s a huge change from what my life was like before. It’s such a rewarding experience to be able to be a mother and to see those milestones, something I had never experienced before.

What would you say to someone who feels overwhelmed in early motherhood?

That you will start to get the hang of things and that some days are going to be easier than others. Be easy on yourself, give yourself patience and grace. You’re doing your best and that’s all you can do! This postpartum version of yourself that you might still be learning to love, your baby absolutely loves this version of you.

Are there any books, practices, or resources you recommend?

I mentioned a few YouTube channels that were really helpful for me. And also the classic book “What to expect when you’re expecting” was great. I bought the baby version as well, “What to expect the first year” and have yet to read it. But I’ve found those books very informative. There are so many things that happen that I was unsure was “normal” and this has been a better resource than doom scrolling online lol

What’s one reminder you want every mother to hear?

I recently shared this online and I think it’s really important:

“If you were unable to breastfeed,

or if you’re still breastfeeding,

if you did it for a week,

a month,

two months,

six months,

a year,

or even longer…

You are a good mom"

 

Thank you so much, Tonya!